I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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