Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
