The maid of honor just puked.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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