I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
