I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
