Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
