she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He has the fingertips of a God
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