I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
