I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
