Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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