Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
