I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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