he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
