Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
