She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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