just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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