you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
