So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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