we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
