At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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