sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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