Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
