Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
