Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
