They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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