We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
