Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
