I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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