I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
