There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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