Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Randomize
