so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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