He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
