I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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