best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
