You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
