Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
