found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
