i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
