I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
