I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
