I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
