dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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