is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
