Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
