i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
