new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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