im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
