the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
