I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
