I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize