so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
